This started out as a post to quickly offer a few things you can do proven to make people happier. It turns out that this stuff gets me so excited I had to stop writing so this didn’t turn into a book of a blog post! What I mean to say is that there are so many ways that people can build more joy, more happiness into their lives that it’s too much for one post.

Here are a few activities that my clients have found the most useful in creating lasting joy. I hope that however you are feeling right now that you can use at least one to bring yourself up even just a little bit. Your time is literally your life and it’s too precious to spend in drawn out states of unhappiness or discontent. Even a little more joy and happiness is time well lived.

Have a read through and decide which one of these feel right for you. You know best about what is going to help you the most. Find one or two that feel right and do them at least once a week, or more if that’s what you think will help most.

Get out your happiness journal, and if you don’t have one, start one right now with whatever writing tool you have with you. Ready to feel better?

The Gratitude letter

 Gratitude one of those practices that benefits us all the time. It can help us focus on the people, things and situations that we value most in our lives. This is a very simple practise that I like to do once a week or so. Simply, I think of someone significant in my life. I start with those closest to me, my wife, my kids. Sometimes, It’s also helpful to consider someone I wouldn’t normally thank in this way. I pen a short letter to them about how grateful I am for their being in my life, or thanking them for something they’ve done or created.

I also write to the places I love. The Lake, mountains, air, plants etc..   Acknowledging how grateful I am for the world that sustains me creates a grounding and peace that I crave.

If this feels right for you, try it once a week for the next 4 to 6 weeks.

You can choose to send your letter, or not. This is for your benefit so decide what suits you best.

Identifying limiting beliefs

Your beliefs matter! A lot as it turns out. In fact your beliefs about the world have more to do with the decisions you make than almost anything else. Different decisions lead to different destinations or destinies. In this way, where you end up is completely within your control. While what happens in the world does have a huge effect on us that is often outside of our control, shifting limiting beliefs about what we can do or who we can be under those conditions allows us to remain the captain of our own ship.

It can be tough to see the water from inside the fish bowl. You are surrounded by your beliefs everyday and it can be really difficult to see what they are and which are holding you back. To you they will just seem like “Reality”. It’s literally how we believe the world to be. But there are some clues.

Use this exercise to determine your limiting beliefs and I will post a link with more ways that you can go about shifting them. In the mean time, the act of identifying them has been shown to help increase happiness and well being. Try some of these and see how lifting the veil can be life changing. If you like, send me your examples and questions.

In your journal:

Write down all the ways in which you are not fully engaged in life. Where are you not living the fullness and joy of life and what are some or all the situations in which this comes up.

1. How does it make you feel to have missed out on engaging in life in the ways you listed above?
2. What must you believe about the world to make engaging with life in the ways you want to impossible? (I don’t deserve love because… , People who … can’t be happy because, I can’t travel because…   and so on)
3. Circle the two that resonate with you the most. The two beliefs that might be the most limiting to you enjoying life the way that you want to.
4. There are two ways to approach the next question. I prefer B because it helps you model someone who’s done what you are looking for, but either is a good way.   A. can you imagine someone who under the same circumstances has found the enjoyment of life that you are looking for? What did they do to create that? What belief must they have about the world that made this possible? Or B. Look for some one, or a story about someone online who has, under similar conditions, found the kind of enjoyment you are looking for. The closer they are to you in age, sex, education, birth etc… the more powerful this exercise will be. What do they believe about the world? What about the reality of the way they are might point out to you that your belief might be inaccurate? Are there actually other possibilities than what you believe?

Uncovering and replacing limiting beliefs is some of the work that I do with my clients. We take a deep dive into how the way they see the world is holding them back from the fulfillment and joy they want in their lives. If working with someone experienced through this process might really help you, be sure to contact me. I would love to hear from you. This is one way we help people create new possibilities for their future that excite and delight them.

Aerobic Exercise

20 minutes of any exercise that gets your heart rate into the aerobic zone has been found to have profound effects on mood and happiness. If you want to supercharge those results, make it fun and bring some friends along. Find a walking / running partner, hitting up the local tennis or basketball courts, joining a class, surfing, going for a hike or chasing your kids around the yard like you’re 5 years old again. If you make it fun you will be 40% more likely to make exercise a habit.

Smile meditation – this is a meditation that I use almost everyday. It’s a guided meditation by Tara Brach. I find that most of the happiest people I work with have some type of mindfulness practise. There are some who prefer a little more movement in how they practice (walking, yoga etc), and others like me who really enjoy the calm stillness of a seated meditation. Tara offers great information on the benefits of meditation and mindfulness in her site.

Cultivating optimism

This journal activity helps you to recognize that achieving your goals is not only possible, it is within your reach.

Part 1 – Take your current situation and write about the BEST possible outcome. Do not hold back at all and elaborate with detail as much as you like.

Part 2 – Write with exquisite detail about how you can become your best self right now. How would you be BEING if you were able to make this dream future come true? How would you be being physically? What would your posture look like? How often would you exercise? What emotions would you be experiencing on a regular basis? What thoughts would support you everyday while you build that dream future?

Writing about the best possible outcome that you can see to your current situation or your best possible future life how can you create your best possible self today so that you can make that future come true. The point of this exercise is to help you recognize that achieving your goals is well within your power.

Fear Scaping

“Named your fear you must, before banish it you can “ – Yoda, Jedi Master.

What if the worst happened? I know this sounds like a horrible thought to have, but sometimes we’re stuck in this pattern anyway. If so, try this exercise and use this habit in a more productive way.

What would it look like if the worst happened? What would be the consequences of the occurrence you fear the most and how would you get yourself back to where you are today? Take some time to map out a route where all options are open. It may involve a temporary job while you rebuild a career, working on yourself to heal some kind of pain, discover how you might put the pieces back together.

Most often, what we fear the most does not happen. This exercise helps you to see that you have options even if it does. It also helps you to realize that “the worst” isn’t as bad as you think it will be.

I also like writing out what I would do to enjoy my life, or some of the benefits and learnings that might come out of that experience. A great side benefit is that if the worst does not happen, you can always use possibilities to be happy you map and apply them to your life right now. This is a great way to further distance yourself from a fear that might be owning you.

I hope there is something here that works for you. I’ve been really excited about the research emerging in the last few years that shows we really can do a lot to influence the happiness and well being we feel in our lives. Remember that any steps you take will be in the right direction and that there are millions of other people walking that path with you.